Feelings Are Valid — The Big Emotions Guide Every Parent Needs Right Now 💛
Good morning, friend. This week we are getting into something real — because big emotions are happening in your home right now, and you deserve actual tools, not platitudes.
Toddler tantrums are not a parenting failure. They're a developmental milestone. Here's the science that will change how you see them — and a printable that will help.
Feelings Are Okay — OWL Sing Together
Larissa sings gently through a list of emotions — happy, sad, frustrated, scared, proud — validating each one without rushing past it. Children watch with an almost meditative focus. Parents report watching it alongside their kids when THEY need it too.
How to Help Your Toddler Name Their Emotions (Without Losing Your Mind)
The tantrum is not the problem. The tantrum is a child's only available tool for expressing something they don't yet have words for.
Here's what's happening neurologically: the prefrontal cortex — the part of the brain responsible for emotional regulation, impulse control, and rational decision-making — is not fully developed until age 25. For a 2-year-old, it's barely online. When your toddler melts down over the 'wrong color cup,' they are not being manipulative. Their brain literally cannot regulate the intensity of that feeling yet.
What actually helps? Research from the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence supports a practice called 'emotion coaching' — naming the emotion before trying to redirect behavior. Instead of 'Stop crying, it's just a cup,' try: 'You're really frustrated right now. You wanted the blue cup. That feeling makes sense.' Children who are regularly emotion-coached develop emotional vocabulary 18–24 months faster than peers and show significantly lower anxiety scores in elementary school.
It feels counterintuitive — especially when you're also exhausted. But naming the feeling first de-escalates 60–70% of tantrums faster than any distraction technique. Try it once this week and notice the difference.
😊 Activity: The Feelings Face Chart (10 minutes, ages 2–5)
- Print the Feelings Are Valid printable (link below) — it has 8 emotion faces.
- Sit with your child at calm time (NOT during a meltdown — after is fine).
- Point to each face and make that expression together. Be dramatic!
- Ask: 'When do YOU feel like this face?' Share your own examples too.
- Keep it on the fridge. When big feelings come, point to the chart: 'Which face is that?'
☀️ Early Summer SEL — Why Emotional Intelligence Starts Now
Social-Emotional Learning (SEL) is now included in kindergarten curricula in 42 US states — meaning the emotional vocabulary your child builds at home directly prepares them for school success. The summer before PreK and Kindergarten is the most impactful time to build this foundation. Children who enter school able to name 4+ emotions and self-regulate for 3–5 minutes are measurably better prepared for classroom learning.
Calm Kids — Mindfulness App for Little Ones
Calm Kids offers guided breathing exercises, sleep stories, and mindfulness practices designed specifically for children ages 2–12. It's one of the few apps actually recommended by licensed child therapists. Use the OWL affiliate code for 30 days free — no credit card required to try.
Try Calm Kids Free for 30 Days →Parenting through big emotions is exhausting. I want you to know: the fact that you're reading about emotional intelligence instead of just white-knuckling through it makes you an extraordinary parent. Your child is lucky to have someone who cares this much. You've got this. Love, Larissa 🦉
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Download the Free Feelings Are Valid Printable 💛